By Brandi Parker
It’s not hard to understand why Samuel continually has us release ego. Ego is defined as “sense of self,” as in self-esteem or self-confidence. Both of those sound pretty good to me until I consider that on some level a sense of self means being separate from others and All That Is. My work for The Plan can be affected if I am not aware of that aspect of my ego. My own experience of ego has included a life-or-death level of fear based on separation and abandonment—separation from Source followed with abandonment by my parents in infancy. If the primary goal of ego is to keep us alive first and safe second, my ego was in warp speed hyper-drive the first half of my life. I had a sense of myself but no self-esteem or confidence.
My pattern was to do and say whatever my ego directed to avoid any more loss. My ego kept me running and fearful—a destructive mix. Thanks to some wonderful people, I acquired a few tools that helped with healing and awareness of my unhealthy ego. For example, in a therapy session many years ago I was asked what my reaction would be if I asked someone to dance and they refused. I responded that I’d most likely turn around and leave the premises! But my therapist suggested some reasons someone might say no, including not knowing how to dance. That concept struck an immediate chord and changed my whole perception of rejection and self-confidence. After that conversation I was able to balance my ego a bit. Now when I recognize my internal discomfort around an external situation I ask myself, “What does this mean specifically about me?” In most cases I feel a sense of detachment from whatever is driving the anxiety, because the answer to the question is “nothing”! And if I don’t feel at least some detachment, I take a deeper look to see if there is some truth about me that needs attention.
Once I found my way to Samuel, some pretty in-credible things happened for me. One spring day I experienced what I can only describe as a perception miracle. I was sitting by a lake in a popular park in Atlanta, enjoying the sun, being in nature, and thinking about the change occurring in my life. The word “understanding” stuck in my head. After a few minutes it occurred to me that I could make an effort to be more understanding before jumping to conclusions. Then my inner voice said, “Understanding makes you more compassionate.” I sat with that for quite a while, and then I heard, “Being more understanding and compassionate allows you to feel more love.” I was stunned by this communication. It was simple truth that resonated deeply, and I’m pretty sure it was delivered in a Scottish brogue. Judgment is a human ego trick that can be difficult to release. Because of that experience in the park I’ve discovered that, if I catch myself quickly enough to make the effort to understand a person’s situation and all that may be having an impact on that situation, I feel compassion. Pausing gives me time to consider that I don’t have all the information. Besides, how do I know the Universe hasn’t just given me an opportunity to put the energy of a compassionate response into the Grid?
Compassion is kryptonite to ego. Being understanding and compassionate increases my tendency to be loving and tolerant, and to recognize the Oneness in all of life. We are in this experiment together. Everyone said yes; everyone plays a part. The person who cut me off in traffic and the person who was rude to me in line—we are all Source! Years ago I added a routine to my morning that helps me keep a check on ego. I simply ask the Universe to help me be a conduit for an experience of peace, love, forgiveness, faith, hope, light and joy in the lives of others. It’s harder to let ego interfere when I’ve set the tone of my day with things I can do to guard and guide Life Force.
Remaining aware of our conscious choices in difficult situations taps into a familiar phrase we frequently hear from Samuel. The phrase goes something like this: “Get over it!” But let’s face it, sometimes situations hit very close to home. I may feel too vulnerable with my emotions to follow Samuel’s advice to dismiss them. I have a practice that is amazingly helpful in getting me to a place of balance so I can move past a place of internalizing what is happening. The concept is to view my consciousness as a piece of furniture in a room filled with other furniture. A chair, for instance, doesn’t do anything. It is merely a chair being furniture and observing the other furniture. It’s not seeking self-esteem, it’s not fearful, it’s not trying to control the sofa; it’s just observing.
When I feel defensive or threatened and realize something unloving is brewing deep inside me and looking for an outlet...well, I kind of become a chair until I can reason through my feelings. And then I get over it! Ego is not my real being. It is an idea that creates a bubble around me, separating me from others. It causes me to look for approval and recognition instead of remembering everything I need is inside. I’m here to live love, and I only need ego to keep me safe and alive so I can do the work I’m here to do. My ego analyzes and reacts to what it thinks is going on outside of me. When I choose to see, hear, speak and love as Source does, “greater is that which is within me...”